Which brings us to today's subject: the online dating profile.
I've got a number of brilliant, beautiful, frank, funny friends, all capable of remarkable things, but writing an enticing online profile does not seem to be one of them. Some people offer their services in soup kitchens, some volunteer to shampoo crude oil off of sad, gooey pelicans; I rewrite online dating profiles.
It all started when my pal Paula asked me to figure out why she wasn't getting a response to her JDate ad. " What I get is that we all want to be loved for exactly who we are. " It wasn't long before news that I'd taken Paula's profile from drab to fab spread far and wide (okay, a couple of people in Brooklyn heard). I've seen the dumb, the dull, and the klutzy; the bitter, the brazen, and the too cute by half.
I didn't have to read beyond her opening sentence—"I like the library! All the exclamation points in the world couldn't save that line. But surely there's a juicier way to bring up your literary fetish. I've studied strangers on the Web and friends at my kitchen table, and here's what I've learned: Let's review—the key to this whole online profile thing is really quite simple: Be direct while maintaining an air of mystery; be modest while flaunting what you've got; be flexible while explaining what you need, while keeping it brief and making it flirty and not getting cute; and be yourself, only more so, only not so much more so that you exaggerate, intimidate, or irritate.
I spoke to a number of bisexual women, who all agreed that they didn’t care if they were taller than a female date – only a male.
‘All that bothered me was being discounted over something so meaningless ‘Anyway being smaller just means I’m harder to push over.’ Something that came out of all this height chat is that many women don’t want to be taller than their male date, but don’t know why.I know it sounds like a tall order, but if the prune can do it, so can you.He was good-looking, had good chat and was a bit older, which is something I’m dabbling in after mostly dating younger guys. I’m 5’9, which isn’t crazy tall but I’ve often found myself towering over men and I don’t like it (more on that later.) We’d already agreed to meet up, but I really wanted to know how tall he was to know what shoes to wear.I assumed this actually meant 5’8, as men often add two inches (true story, fight me) so settled on wearing my flattest shoes (Vans). Despite him being petite, it didn’t make me feel like a giant. (Sidenote: I thought the date went well but then he ghosted me. ‘I never put my height in the profile although it would make sense to do so.’ Jo uses dating apps and thinks people have a right to ask: ‘With online dating, you can’t tell from pics.THANKS, TOM.) I asked him why he’d added his height to his profile, and he’d done so because like many men, he got wind that women care. ‘I’ve been asked my height on an app before and I wasn’t offended,’ says Jay, 31, who incidentally has had a stranger yell, ‘AVERAGE HEIGHT! I’m short and I don’t want a guy who’s too tall as I won’t be able to reach him.’ When I put the issue to the good people of the internet (they always have strong opinions), I was genuinely surprised at how outraged some people were.