Matriarchal dating

Traditionally in the West, women did not think they could survive without a male partner.If this is not true for the Mosuo in China or for poor single mothers in urban ghettos, certainly it need not be true for modern middle-class educated women, who experience far fewer unexpected challenges to physical safety or occasions requiring the exercise of brute physical strength.It also becomes inevitable, as men, who become increasingly less likely to meet the standards set by female heads of household, are no longer willing or able to sustain long-term commitment.It is foreseeable that the growing promiscuity of college campuses and the young-adult scene will push more middle-class, educated women like Bolick into female-led households, raising children fathered by absent partners, adopted, or artificially conceived.In a caricature patriarchal society, men have all the earning power, determine the structure of both the household and other institutions, and treat women as little more than domestic and sexual servants, often engaging the “services” of more than one (the “temporary marriages” practiced in some Muslim countries come to mind).In a caricature matriarchal society, men are little more than studs.

But this comes at the expense of every other, loftier, need and desire, and distorts the humanity of both the stronger and the weaker sex.The full implementation of this pattern, so to speak, is seen in the Mosuo community in China, which Bolick also briefly discusses.The Mosuo have a matrilineal and matriarchal social structure and do not practice marriage (though many are monogamous).This is the world Bolick inhabits along with other New York singles.But when women give up on men’s playing an important role in the household and turn to one another instead, accepting the financial and emotional costs of raising one another’s children, promiscuity becomes, in a sense, safe.

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