Know what you want dating

But it can’t be a numbers game when only one date can be a game changer.You have to go on dates, just not every single one.In the little section where you’re asked, “How do you typically spend a Friday night? I say I’m usually at a yoga class, winding down after the week.” (you know the one—it’s where most people say, “Sometimes I like to go out, but then sometimes I like to stay in,” and you want to reply, “O RLLY? There’s a good chance that you’ll discover the subtle difference between the “just put yourself out there!I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.I mention that I tend to spend many hours reading and that I like book recommendations.

A: It sounds like it's easier for you to just confirm someone likes you than to let things progress naturally.Imagine it like this:'Would you like to go out this weekend?' (bad)'I'm going to this cool exhibition (or whatever) this weekend, come!I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.

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