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Knowing there were treatments that could (and did) help them gain confidence and a new perspective, I felt compelled to write a book about the skills that help people get past social anxiety. Combining ACT with traditional exposure and cognitive techniques rooted in CBT, here are some of the most effective ways to approach dating anxiety: Practicing self-disclosures Shy and anxious people are less likely to share about themselves and self-disclose.

Dating advice books may prescribe pick-up lines or manipulative, gamey strategies to win over a date.

Because social anxiety is such a widespread problem, psychologists have worked hard to develop treatments that work.

Four separate meta-analyses have shown Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to be effective in treating SAD.

Yet the last thing a shy or anxious person may feel comfortable doing is letting their guard down, which is why practicing sharing is a vital element.

Practicing self-disclosure might include letting your date know about a story or person that is special to you, sharing how you felt about a recent event, or letting your date know that you think they look great.

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People may assume it’s normal to feel the type of anxiety they experience, or believe the anxiety is something that can’t be treated.

If a social situation goes awry, they automatically blame themselves.

If they make a comment that comes out wrong, they beat themselves up for hours or days afterwards.

Because they judge themselves harshly, they assume others do, too.

And it makes them not want to share, be open or be vulnerable.

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